«Hi, everyone. I have Down syndrome. Don’t be surprised by my comments, because I don’t know how to write,» is how Dmytro Lapay introduces himself on his TikTok account. But does the ability to write really determine a person’s value? Of course not. The 19-year-old from Cherkasy proves this every day, winning over his audience with his boundless energy, inspiration, and sincere desire to create content. He talks about his everyday life, breaking down stereotypes with simple but vivid videos about ordinary life. Although Dmytro finds it difficult to speak, his mother, Alla Smetanska, helps us get to know him better.
«Dmytro speaks at a level that only I can fully understand. Although my son cannot write or read, I am very grateful to all the educators who have helped him socialize well. We live in Cherkasy in a private house: Dmytro, my older daughter, my mother, my older brother, and I.»
At first, it was difficult for Alla to come to terms with the news about her son’s condition, because during her pregnancy, no one warned her that the child could be born with certain disorders. So Alla found out about Down syndrome after giving birth. She says that at 34, when her views on the world were already clearly formed, she did not blame anyone for this and was able to take it calmly, accept and love her son as he is, and be a wonderful mother to him. She divorced Dmytro’s father when the boy was still young because he abused alcohol.
«I understood that such an atmosphere had a negative impact not only on me, but also on the development and formation of my children, so I divorced him,» says the woman. «My son started walking very late. It’s hard for me to think about the future right now because Dmytro can’t always cope with everything on his own. Throughout his life, as a mother, I have made a lot of effort to teach Dima to be independent in everyday life. At 19, he already knows how to use household appliances, such as a dishwasher and a microwave, and can start the washing machine. In the future, I think he will try to learn how to cook simple dishes.»
To prepare for school, Dmytro attended a kindergarten where there were children with different disabilities in his group. According to Alla, the teachers at the preschool were able to give Dima a good start in his initial socialization and begin moving toward closer communication and interaction between the boy and other people.
Dmytro attended kindergarten for six years and then went to a regular secondary school located near his home.
«When I told the principal that I had a child with Down syndrome, there were no questions asked— Dmytro was immediately accepted into first grade. When it comes to communication, Dima can answer questions with yes or no, and 60% of his answers truly reflect his inner needs and thoughts. His classmates could easily communicate with him. Their first teacher always explained to the children how to communicate properly and never singled Dmytro out from the rest. In general, throughout his entire school career, we have not encountered any inappropriate behavior or communication with Dmytro due to his disability… I am very grateful to the teachers and the principal of this school for their high professionalism and great desire to provide a quality education to all children without exception,» – says Alla.
Before the quarantine, Dmytro went to school on his own, walked on the street, and visited the store. After switching to distance learning, he lost interest in his lessons. The online format was difficult for him, as live communication helped him to absorb the material more effectively and interact with his classmates. Dmytro recently graduated from the Cherkasy Higher Professional School of Construction Technologies with a degree in bricklaying and plastering.
«School was quite difficult for my son, even though there were students with and without disabilities in his class. Due to constant anxiety, he had to go to and from the shelter on his own, figure out the schedule, and generally understand all the dynamic changes taking place around him, which was quite difficult for Dima. And college is not like school. There, students are responsible for themselves, and teachers do not supervise them during breaks, so I was a little worried about him. However, my son was very lucky with his classmates. The class president always helped him find the right classroom.»
Dmytro loves attending various cultural events and is also passionate about dancing. He often participates in various concerts and lights up the stages of Cherkasy with his moves.
Dmytro actively attended creative classes with Tetiana Volochai at the Cherkasy educational center “Zmistovno.” Over the years, he has performed at four or more concerts. Previously, the clubs were attended mainly by adult participants, but over time, the format changed, and now the main audience is younger children. This made it difficult for Dmytro to interact in the group, and he stopped attending classes. In addition, he is regularly invited to perform at concerts at the Center for Comprehensive Rehabilitation for People with Disabilities, “Thirst for Life.”
Tetyana Volochay not only helped Dima find his passion but also told Dmytro’s family about the public association “League of the Strong.” There, Dmytro and his family were able to receive financial assistance, which was very necessary at that time to restore Dmytro’s emotional balance. Due to constant anxiety and horrific news about the consequences of Russian shelling, as well as a feeling of constant tension, Dmytro rarely left the house. Unfortunately, at that time, Dima’s family’s financial situation did not allow for a full-fledged vacation and recovery. Thanks to the support from the League of the Strong, Dmytro and his mother visited several theater performances, an art museum, and his favorite pizzeria. Now, at least once a week, the family tries to organize various outings or visits to cultural institutions for the boy.
«During the war, many people need help, so at first I was a little surprised that we would receive support from the League of the Strong. However, I was very concerned that my son had become withdrawn and was spending a lot of time on his smartphone and hardly ever going outside. Since Dima does not need medication, we decided to relieve his psychological burden and help him balance his emotional state,» – says Alla.
Since childhood, Dmytro has been sensitive to noise and unusual behavior in others. If someone behaves loudly or unexpectedly during a class or event, he may not want to return there.
«Now we enjoy going to theater performances, concerts by famous artists, museums, and immersive attractions. We also love to relax together in Cherkasy bakeries. We recently went to the theater to see an interpretation of the opera “Zaporozhets za Dunayem” (Cossack Beyond the Danube), and we are planning to go to Artem Pivovarov’s concert soon.»
Like many Ukrainians, Dmytro dreams of victory. He supports his relatives who serve in the Armed Forces of Ukraine, wears clothes with patriotic slogans, and shoots TikTok videos accompanied by songs about Ukraine.
Dmytro Lapay’s story is a vivid testimony to the fact that the true strength of the Ukrainian nation lies in respect for everyone and the creation of equal conditions for participation in the life of the country, because this is the basis for the common victory he dreams of so much.
This material was created with the financial support of the German Federal Foreign Office (GFFO), CBM, and the European Disability Forum. The views expressed in this material are those of the authors and cannot in any way be considered the official opinion of the financial partner and the European Disability Forum.